So... this is my friend D

   

and that's all Im going to say about it.

EDIT:
My Couchsurfing SN:  DanDann
House SN:                  ACMECoop

So.  I've been having an awesome time.  My housemates are awesome.  My jobs are cool.  The food rocks.  I didnt actually Break my foot.  Life is good.

 

Oh what?

 

My foot?

 

Right... So I FINALLY went rock climbing again....  My roommate likes to climb, which is sweet, cause now I have a "built in" climbing buddie.  So we went climbing on Tuesday night.  I had just completed a route and fell... on top of my roommate.  Rolled my ankle rather nicely.  He had to walk home and get a car...  I couldnt put ANY pressure on it or shift it even without some pleasant throbbing.  Wednesday I could put a titch more pressure on it.  Today I can semi stand on it n such - but it still looks like Shrek's foot....  I didnt die so it's okay; I will climb again.

 

Anywhoo - yea.  I love my housemates.  Gotta say (again).  I could go on for hours about why, but I shant.  We ARE however joining Couchsurfing as a house now!!  Im already a member (DanDann) but Im registering us as ACMECoop I think.  I'll let u know if we change it. 

Thas all i got for now.  But I love ya.  Jus sos ya know.

DanDann

WELL... this is day 8 and I feel (relatively) great

I felt like crap yesterday, but I think, aside from detoxing, it was because I (instead of simply resting and being in nature) have been staying up really late, driving, siting in front of the computer for hours on end and sitting in the library in the cold for hours, effectively getting a cold and making myself feel like crap.

However, I had a lil tea with honey and my blood sugar went back up.  I havent really had a blood sugar problem before, but I also stay home when i do this... as opposed to THIS time.  (Read: Danielle, why are you on the computer NOW?)

Anywhoo.  I about to go to ACME and see if we're all in agreement that my moving back into the Co-op is the best idea anyone has ever had ever.

Im pretty excited.  I LOVE the co-op, but the last time I lived there I was in the basement room - bad choice.  What I fantasize about is living in that one room on the main floor that has a kitchen n bathroom in it, cause its bigger AND I can be OCD about how I clean and put away kitchen and bathroom things without offending/annoying anyone.  However, the currently open room is that cute one upstairs - which is So much better than living in the basement lemme tell ya.  And the house is CLEANER than when I lived there before.  (Slightly) less clutter!  It's great.  Oh and no long haired dogs.  I love animals, but my OCD has a raging fit when I have to pic dog hair out of my pasta....

Anyway, that's what Im doin now, and my eyes are starting to cross (been on the computer too long) so I LOVE YOU BYE!!

D

What happened to the reviews section?  I REALLY liked that and I want it back.

Anyway, I just found this thing and think it's wonderful
Vegetarian Recipes search thingi

I used to know of a similar search thing for Asian recipes.  I cant remember the URL or anything though.  Pity.  It was a wonderful site.

This thing is kinda cool though...
Recipezaar
...actually... it's pretty freakin amazing.  I think it's my favorite
no seriously. it's amazing.  You can sift by what ingredients you want and DONT want, down to like... minute details.  Like... what can I make with an eggplant that doesnt have sugar, salt, white flower or animal products in it.

Im in love.

Like... i did this search:
It gave me 160 recipes.  I LOVE IT!!!

---

Okay.  That was me putting in potential ideas for 45 minutes.  Im in love with it.  What can I say.  Im just gonna dedicate this post to Recipe Zaar.  That's it - setting it as the title.  Yup

Okay.  So back to the main complaint.  What happened to the reviews section?  Because what I would LIKE to do, is post the recipes that i wanna try, and then come back with my opinions of them - and YOUR opinions of them.  Is there a site where I can do that??

---

Oh wait... I'll just join Recipe Zaar - YOU SHOULD TOO!! N then come find me!!!
My screenname is DanDann!!  Oh Im so in love with this 

Just so you know, this blog is extremely long and pointless - as in, it doesnt come to a point.
Rant:



I kinda don't know what to do with myself right now.  This is detox day two, goin well n all but (1st I probably shouldnt be staring at a computer screen, but hey) Im trying to get a look at my situations n all?  Not lookin too hott.

Well, for one - my current dilemma - I gotta get back into school.  Okay, finish FAFSA, right.  But, what do I want to study?  The 6 year-old question.  Oh, and where do I want to study what I want to study?

What I want to have in my magic satchel are these things:
Touch Therapy
Holistic Nutrition
Raw Food Nutrition
Doula/Midwifery
Herbology
Childbirth Education
Foreign Languages and Cultures


NOW!  What bachelor's do I need / can I get.  The only places I've found on my own that offer the programs of study that would fit are the two distance learning and unaccredited Clayton College and Westbrook University.

What should I do?  What should I study?

The other thought is that IF I change my major (AGAIN) it will take me longer to graduate and leave too much room for me to change my mind again - though it WOULD be the first time I've actually pursued a passion... sort of.  My current major is Spanish and I have about one year left.

I KNOW i know, just finish the stupid thing and then go study whatever I want right?  But I already took all my actual Spanish classes and all I have left are 4-6 quarters of chemistry and English....  I am the Burnout Queen.  This frightens me.

True, there IS no easy road for the complex things I am passionate about, but I like to have my hands in the things I love.  Aside from knowing that my bachelor's would probably be meaningless, the reason I havent pursued the Clayton/Westbrook is because I dont have faith in myself as a distance learner.  I want my fingers in it....  Like, my Spanish major? - I WENT TO SPAIN.  My pull to massage is actually using touch.  My pull to holistic nutrition making the food.  I mean yea, that's not all, I want to learn the nitty gritty foundational fundamental important stuff too, but 1/2 and 1/2 gets me through it.  If it's all book and no play/practice I forget what I'm doing.

Ha, the only way I got through that one semester of international business, calculus, accounting and all was by carefully inserting my French and Spanish classes in the middle of each day.  Yea, both languages.

My favorite quarter ever other than that one where I had belly dancing, african dance, international dance, pilates, and Capoeira was the one where I had French, Spanish and Japanese. 

Yea, I can and will work my butt off if it's something that gets under my skin.  And I'll endure the rest if there are some "real" classes mixed in.

But give me chemistry, English and accounting alone and I.... well I run away frankly.... 

I should have just waited...  take one quarter abroad, one quarter on campus, one abroad, etc.  That or study abroad completely.  Trust me, I would do a lot better if it was Chemistry in Spanish - or even just in Spain, or anywhere... else that is.



What is it?  My fight or flight mechanism is broken.  The fight button just... doesnt work - unless of course, Im fighting to get to Spain or fighting to make my legs dance out that last rhythm, or fighting to get another hour on the computer to read that last article on why we were designed to breastfeed.

How do I channel that?

I could write my own major, but
1) again that would lengthen my stay and give me too much room to change my mind again
2)give me so MANY options that I'd bite off too much and in that extra space n time decided to change my mind
3)What would i choose??

I am almost positive that I'm making this too complicated - JUST GRADUATE and study whatever I want...

What if I dont finish.  Again. 



Ah ha.  Fears.  Here we go
*What if i dont finish.  again
*What if I incur even MORE debt waffling around trying to find what i want instead of taking time to make a surefooted move and putting money toward something real
*What if i disappoint everyone again - u know, not finishing, etc
*What if i waste more time?  One more year JUST to finish, and then tons of kids n - - -
*What if I pursue what I THINK I want and find out that I was truly just wasting the money?  I get 8 miles down my own road and realize that yea, I took the wrong one; dad WAS right?  That echoing 'I told you so.'
Im just making myself dizzy.  ...so Im going to stop thinking about it.

See, this is how I get nothing done.  Did I mention that Im a Pisces, Virgo rising with a moon in Libra?  Im not gonna do it at all unless it's perfect... and btw I dont know which one to do.

So far, I am a very unproductive human.

But you remember.  You remember how much research I put into parenting and all that?  I LOVE to research - chosen topics.  But Im in a corner.  Corners immobilize me. 


I just wish the Lord would send a pillar of smoke and fire to protect and direct me.  That whole 'we are like sheep' analogy?  So more true for me than it ought to be.....  Sheep can only process one thing at a time, need constant supervision to keep from accidentally killing themselves, and pretty much need the Shepherd to physically pick them up and place them in the right place....



ALL I KNOW IS I WANNA MARRY SOMEONE WHO AT LEAST KINDA GETS ME AND LIVE ON A PIECE OF LAND AND MAKE BABIES. 

That is the ONE thing I have been sure of since childhood.  Everything else is Martian to me.  I dont know how to do my taxes, I dunno how to keep my bills in order, I dunno how to...   But creating, laughing, nurturing, feeling (too much), and loving?  I've got that down like none other.





According to http://www.rocketcareer.com/  :

Creative & Free Form - Your percentile ranking is 90

You need an artistic or imaginative element in your work in order to find the career that fits. Your powers of visualization are strong, as is your ability to see patterns and trends long before others do. Though you can be impatient with restriction, you need to master the conventions of your art in order to find the structure that gives you true freedom of expression. Express yourself you must, and if you find a career that lets you set your own schedule, so much the better. Your productivity and your enthusiasm go hand in hand, so while others may be content to work for money alone, you won't find the right job till you're in a career that gives you joy.

I couldn't have said it better....  So now what?

Practical & Down to Earth - Your percentile ranking is 37

You need work you can touch to feel at home in what you do. Your greatest job satisfaction will come from a hands-on career, whether you deal with plants and animals or machines and tools. Patience, craftsmanship, and the need to see results incline you toward careers that yield tangible results. Ideally, your career will involve movement and physical exertion--whether you're crafting a pot, designing a landscape, or painting a house. If your job keeps you out of an office and in the outdoors, so much the better. At the end of your work day, you need to receive respect and a sense of your growing power to shape the world you live in with your own hands.

Again... I couldn't have said it better....  So now what?

Communicative & Empathetic - Your percentile ranking is 32

You need the human connection in your work to feel genuine satisfaction in your career. So, you're a natural for any of the "helping" professions. Whether in intimate one-on-one professions like counseling or nursing or in group-oriented service careers such as non-profit administration or community leadership, you'll be best place in a job that takes advantage of your innate communication skills. A career that puts you in a position to display your social skills is a necessity. You also require work that brings not just money but meaning into your life. Care, compassion, and the genuine willingness to serve incline you to positions of social responsibility. The career that fits is a career that lets you help others who depend on you.

Once again... I couldn't have said it better....  So now what?

*Sigh...

Okay, so have you read the book Eat Pray Love ?  First of all, it's fantastic and you SHOULD.  Second, my strong inclination is to run off somewhere and ground myself, learn to hear that inner voice and learn to hear God, and THEN come back and step into the rat wheel.  But the other voice in my head keeps telling me that that will just compound and drag out my problems - "you cant run from yourself" thing, but I want to 'go' get stronger...

RAH!  What do I do?



Here's what They said:

1) Construction & Maintenance	100 %
2) Manufacturing	90 %
3) Sports, Media, & Entertainment	34 %
4) Transportation	32 %
5) Creative Arts	18 %
6) Teaching & Education	17 %
7) Engineering & Architecture	17 %
8) Health Care	14 %
9) Agriculture & Forestry	9 %
10) Natural Sciences	9 %
11) Community Service & Social Sciences	9 %
12) Business & Management	6 %

Uh... for how accurate the first stuff was that they said about me, this is kinda off... I mean, yea, I LOVE construction, but that's a pretty structured career isnt it?  And not very - I get to create how we're gonna do this....  I HAVE considered creating a TV show - in fact I should pitch it n see if the networks bite... Duh on creative arts, but that's stiff vague....  Teaching, yea okay....  Health...  Agriculture...

Blah.  Still no closer. 

---

Sorry... i've been taking more tests... they're all kinda lame
-they want me to pay for a better view
-they tell me things I already know
-they dont really help me solve anything

Im wearing myself out.

Im just TIRED!!!  Lord Im just tired.  Im tired of making mistakes.  Im tired of not learning from my mistakes.  Im tired of not knowing what to do.  Im tired of thinking I know what to do and being wrong.  Im tired of thinking Im finally doing the right thing and then hitting the wall.  Im tired of being afraid to make any moves at all.  Im tired of knowing WHO I want to be but not being able to get there.  Im tired of being owned by my debts and mistakes.  Im just Tired.  Im tired of my roller coaster faith.  Im tired.  Im Tired. Im tired.  Im tired of giving up before I start.

I feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day after he's discovered that every time he thinks he's finished, the cycle begins again - except that for me, even though Im getting nowhere, time is still passing....  At least he realized he had all the time in the world to do whatever he wanted....  His consequences didnt pile up and he had time to learn.  Everything I do has a compounding consequence. 



Okay, so I have a ton of skills - half developed though they may be.  How can I make them profitable?  I think if I had some form of "secure" income, some of this stress would be abated....

Okay, Im a musician.  But I live in a town with 5 bars... I doubt Im gonna get substantial funding from playin in town.  I could develop a CD and go play in Columbus and Cincinnati, but is that enough to get my music noticed and purchased?  Is my music profitable enough?  Yea maybe.... 

RAMBLING!!

Yup.

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sorry... drifted again.  im gonna go ahead and close, cause im just rambling.  Anyway, if you read it all - wow you dont have any life either

hehe. 

that or you love me
in which case thanks, I needed that.


bueno.

I LOVE YOU!!